Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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