She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
