u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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