I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
