Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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