Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
