They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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