ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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