im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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