Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize