Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
