a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
