I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
