i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
