I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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