Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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