You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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