There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
