wrigley field is MILF paradise
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
