She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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