my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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