I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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