i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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