is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
