is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
