How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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