I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
