I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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