did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
