holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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