I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
