My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
