We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
