i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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