Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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