Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if only i could text you this smell
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
