She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
