It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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