i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize