im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
