Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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