I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
