I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
