Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
