One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
