I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
