Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
