im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
