I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
