So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize