Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
