i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
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