giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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