this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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