STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
