Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
