Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
