he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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